Benefits to wanking ???  Hold on a minute…

In a previous articles related to the same topic (“Caught masturbating, and so what?” and “Masturbation: why it isn’t that bad”) it was made a case for the benefits of wanking. I’m here to make the case against it in certain situations.

Let me set the table with a few principles first, then we’ll dive into it.

First and foremost, wanking doesn’t mean or affect women and men the same way. Most women don’t have a libido that is even close to that of a man. Yes, there are nymphomaniacs out there, I hear, but at almost the half-century mark, like UFOs, I’ve never seen one…

Second, for a woman, unless she is a land whale or a mutant circus sideshow, the possibility of getting laid at will is out there. There will always be a desperate horny guy willing to take a run at her. Some women might have to wait until closing time at their local bar, but hey…

Third, there is the Pareto principle that applies to the Sexual Market Place (SMP); that is 20% of the top males will lay and/or be desired by 80% of the top females, leaving 80% of the male population partially or completely sexually frustrated.

Taking all three of these principles into account, a picture clearly emerges: most men can’t get what they really need; and women can get way more than they really need. That imbalance explains why wanking doesn’t affect the sexes the same way.

Men are thus way more likely to resort to wanking in a disproportionate way; an unhealthy way. Porn addiction anyone?

For men, wanking equals rejection in an unconscious way. It may be a release valve from sexual frustration, but after the 30 seconds of orgasmic ecstasy, comes the perverse stab in the back to your self-esteem. The reality is that you wank because your Sexual Market Value (SMV) is just not high enough.

What happens to those sexually frustrated men ? Well a clue might be a paper about male fruit flies (fruit flies, I know !) that found, in a controlled study, that the males that don’t have access to females are more likely to head directly to the container of alcohol …

So sexually frustrated men drink, use drugs, are actively wanking, and become MGTOWs or Incels, or a combination of the above. Not exactly a winner for the social fabric of society. AND, in the era of internet dating, the rejection mechanisms for those men just got multiplied…

The only real sane solution is using escorts; because let’s face it, there are no good sex toys for men with an equivalent price point to that of a decent vibrator…But what if you can’t afford escorts ? Well you’re shit out of luck !!!

Or are you ? You don’t look that good ? You are not in shape ? You don’t have a good job ? You have a bad attitude ? A bad personality ? All of those things, but one (OK, there is plastic surgery !) are changeable. You can increase your value as a man; value to yourself, women, and society at large. That is probably why the Jordan Peterson message is so compelling to so many men; but that is an entire other article.

Wanking within couples

There I completely disagree with our lovely Janet. Masturbation and couples don’t mix.

Most women react to their partner’s masturbation in 3 ways:

1-OMG, am I not enough for you ? They shame their partners into stopping, men do the fruit fly thing and/or they leave.

2-Thank God, I don’t have to fuck him anymore! One less thing on their list. They turn their backs on their partners; men do the fruit fly thing and/or they leave.

3-Women that use sex to control their men will see this as an attempt to usurp their power in the relationship; other manipulation tactics will multiply leading to you guessed it: men will do the fruit fly thing and/or leave…

Most men react to their partner’s wanking according to their sexual satisfaction levels:

1-If he’s satisfied, seeing his partner masturbate might be seen as a turn-on, a call to sex.

2-If he’s dissatisfied he’ll think: “How can she throw away her already insufficient libido on this sexual junk food ?”. These women will either be cheated on and/or booted out the door.

3-Or in very few cases he’ll act like the “in the closet” whimp he probably is and use female reaction #1. That guy is definitely doing the fruit fly thing…

So in 6 situations that cover most situations involving wanking and couples, ALL BUT ONE are toxic…

Yes, wanking has a lot of great uses and benefits but it can also be detrimental; much more so for men.


J.R. - The Velvet Rooms 

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