19 / 05 / 2021
9 Minute Read

Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies: is it prostitution?

What is a Sugar Baby / Sugar Daddy date?

It is an English term argo meaning a relationship in which a man with a large financial capital offers money and / or goods to a woman much younger than him. A woman is called a "Sugar Baby" and in return for all the benefits that a Sugar Daddy brings you affection, attention, companionship and of course, sex.

In many countries, prostitution is a crime. This form of consensual dating is a means of decriminalizing the paid relationship.

It is on the basis of this particular request that specialized dating sites have been organized. They sought to put in contact an affluent public (the demand), with a young and educated public, (the offer), to frame their tariffed relationship while ensuring that it is "decriminalized". In fact, a "sugar daddy" (a kind of "cake daddy") seems to meet all the codes of prostitution: he indeed offers himself the company of a young woman whom he pays for her services.

The typical profile of a Sugar Baby

The "Sugar Baby" is not at a dead end, she is not presented as a victim. She is usually between 18 and 30 years old, a student or has just entered the work-force. She usually chooses, at a precise moment in her life, to give her time, and more if affinities, to a man who will soften her daily life from a financial point of view or allow her to carry out a project. The target audience is obviously the student community, which is full of young women in the prime of their lives and full of potential but whose finances are often problematic.

They will therefore choose to entertain a mature man rather than working in a supermarket, in a shop, in a restaurant, or at McDonald's.

Potential "Sugar Babies" are aware of their sex appeal and their intellectual qualities and seek to profit from them: instead of financing their studies by working evenings and weekends for a low pay salary, they supplement their end of the month by accompanying a wealthy man to a restaurant and letting him shower them with gifts and take them on vacation. Some seek only to combine studies and luxury, others see it as a purely food job, which pays the evening meal and possibly the rent.

The typical profile of a Sugar Daddy

A Sugar Daddy is a man of power, he has a very good financial situation, an interesting network of contacts, having like him the financial capital that can be useful in his business. These men are generally at least 45 years old with a good experience of life. And that’s what attracts young Sugar Babies: A successful mature man who is willing to support a young woman so that he doesn’t waste time in relationships that will lead him nowhere.

For these men, spending time with pretty girls is getting the respect and admiration they deserve from young women who want to learn things in life. These men suddenly feel ten years younger with an attractive Sugar Baby by their side.

Sugar Daddies are financially comfortable (not all of them are rich, as you might think) and established men who sometimes already have wives and children, but whose hectic pace of life has extinguished the flame in their marriage. Regardless, their wives and families will always come first. The Sugar Baby understands that she will not replace his wife and children but likes to be spoiled and share her free time in exchange for some material comfort. Both parties therefore are getting what they are looking for.

Sugar-Dating: A consent relationship

This kind of date can last a few months or several years. The goal of this relationship is a mutual exchange between two people and as in a basic couple: everyone finds their happiness. Obviously, it is a mutual agreement: the relationship does not go without the consent of the other half. This aspect must be taken into account, which is very often neglected by the population.

Are Sugar Babies offering a modern form of prostitution?

In my opinion, being a Sugar Baby isn't really dating. You're only engaged in the relationship for the financial reward, and it isn't a normal relationship. 99% of sugar relationships involve sex. Therefore, the line between Sugar Baby and Escort is very thin. Sugar Babies just play the long game with fewer clients…Sugar Babies are swapping time, are swapping companies, and quite likely sexual services for money.

Sugar Daddies often expect a level of time and attention a professional would charge hundreds for. They might have a foot fetish, for instance, and they want a lady to turn up to their house once a week so they can play with the lady's feet for hours, and they'll give them 100 CHF. You might think 100 CHF to have someone touch your feet isn’t bad, but “it’s worth a hell of a lot more than that. A professional Escort offering Outcalls charges anywhere from 300 CHF to 450 CHF an hour.

The stigma around prostitution means people distance themselves from the term - even when they’re doing things that fall under its remit. Men don’t want to be seen as ‘that guy’ who needs to pay for sex, and women don’t want to think of themselves as sex workers.

But I believe it is a modern form of sex work. I don’t think there really is a difference. Even though Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies rarely directly exchanged sex for cash.

Sugar Babies need to feel empowered to talk about money, which they rarely do upfront. If these men don't mention anything about an agreement or paying you, you have to be able to know enough to bring that up or you will end-up spending time with them and getting nothing from it.

Considering becoming an Escort -Girl or a Sugar Baby?

Becoming a Sugar Baby is popular, especially in countries where prostitution is illegal. It is also for many of women (who are often uncomfortable with the word "prostitution") a disguised way of exchanging money / gifts for sexual services.

The girl who does not assume or who is afraid to work as an Escort will prefer to look for a Sugar Daddy. It is more discreet, she can even have two Sugar Daddies simultaneously. Depending on the nature of their engagement, a girl who sees her Sugar Daddy once or twice a week for a few hours or half-days can expect an allowance of between 1000 and 5000 chf per month. Very comfortable when you are a young student. Often inexperienced and naive, these young girls often let themselves be intimidated by a little money and some Sugar Daddies know how to take advantage of it ... Sex is pretty much expected with a Sugar Daddy. A lot of young girls think it's not but honestly, why would someone just give you a lot of stuff for free?

My Tips to the Girls considering becoming a Sugar Baby:

* Don’t give out your real identity immediately to your Sugar Daddy

* Always use a condom - do not let your Sugar Daddy convinces you otherwise, no matter how much they offer

* Never spend your own money

* If you know it will end in sex, get a deposit upfront

* Make sure a person you trust knows where you are when you’re out on a Sugar Date

The Escort Girl, unlike the Sugar Baby, is a professional (although more and more professional Escorts are now turning to Sugar-Dating) and she is much less naive and has way more experience. She exchanges her time for money and her rates are fixed (in Switzerland, between CHF 250 and 400 CHF per hour). She meets several clients in a day and her income is two to three times higher than that of Sugar Baby. Her rates are pretty clear upfront and the client knows for sure that he will have some sexual time. With an Escort, you may have that feeling that it is all about money…unless you find one who offers a real GFE service. In that case, you will never have the feeling of being on a transactional date.

I would say that the two biggest differences between Escorts and Sugar Babies are:

* Time. A Sugar Baby spends a lot more time outside the bedroom with their Sugar Daddy. It looks a little bit like regular dating, just with an allowance/gifts. Escorts do go on non-sexual "dates" with clients, but those are less common.

* Payment. A Sugar Baby may receive many gifts, or a weekly/monthly allowance. An escort is paid for her time and services which have a clear beginning and end.

The Sugar Baby: she needs a little financial help and prefers to meet a single man (see two maximum) and on a regular basis in order to continue your studies or her job as an employee in a company. The time she spends with her Sugar Daddy is not counted. The allowance she gets is financial compensation for the time spent with him.

The Escort Girl: whether full-time or part-time, it's a job and it has to be lucrative. It offers its priced services in a professional manner and in an often more rigid framework. The time she spends with her client is counted. The compensation she obtains is a salary.

These alternatives both represent a form of prostitution, let's face it !

Should you date an Escort Girl or a Sugar Baby?

Is it better to meet an Escort Girl or to have a Sugar Baby? Tricky question which I think depends on the type of relationship you are looking for.

If I were a man, I would meet a Sugar Baby in this case:

I want a continued relationship with one woman only, I have a limited budget. I am looking for a relationship that could turn into a real romantic relationship. The negative point: I could fall in love with my Sugar Baby and it may not be reciprocal or vice versa. She might want more money / gifts than I can offer. She might want to see me more often (or less often) than agreed. She could have another Sugar Daddy while I would like an exclusive relationship. My proximity to her could endanger my relationship if I do not know / want to establish the necessary distance between us.

If I were a man, I would meet an Escort Girl in this case:

I want to have intimate and sexual relations without wasting time or money and maintaining a certain anonymity; even if it costs me more than dating a Sugar Baby. I will definitely meet different Escorts in order to avoid getting emotionally involved. I don't necessarily want to expose myself in public with another woman (especially if I have a family). If I have particular fantasies, I know that I can satisfy them with an Escort (who is a professional provider), not necessarily with a Sugar Baby.

And you Gentlemen? Rather a Sugar Baby or an Escort Girl? ;-)

Janet for TheVelvetRooms 

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