04 / 01 / 2020
6 Minute Read

Pregnant, she doesn’t want sex anymore : What should I do ?

You may not talk about this with your friends at all… this is one of the topic one can called „taboo“ but do not worry: you are not an isolated case.

Since your wife/partner/girlfriend is pregnant (or since her child was born) she always finds a excuses not to have sex with you. You have the feeling that everything else is more important than you and that you only make a presence, help around the house and above all you pay the bills. You wonder why so much ignorance towards you and your sexual needs, why such a drastic change when a few months back, your sex life seemed to be great and well-balanced?

 

You haven’t had sex for months and you are now wondering what to do?

Well, as a man there are a few things you should know. During the pregnancy and months after giving birth, a woman’s body is still under the influence of a lot of hormones responsible of this change. Stress and fatigue can also be part of a non-desire for sex.

Your woman has no appetite for sex, she may feel disinclined to be sexual. After giving birth, the only person who counts is her child. You come second (or third…). She has to reconcile both being a mother while still being a sexual partner. This can be challenging for many women.

Giving birth has also changed your wife’s body and she may now feel less attractive or just not herself.

 

What to do then?

First, try to speak with your wife/girlfriend/partner. Don’t talk about sex, just express your feelings and tell her that the lack of time spent together is affecting you. Ask her if she feels ready to work on reintroducing intimacy into your lives, slowly but surely. She may accept the idea (it may takes weeks or months though) or she may simply keep on rejecting you…

In this case, it's rather bad news for you because you will have to accept to have no or very little sex with your partner for an indefinite period of time... well, until she wants some sex with you again... It may last a few weeks, a few months or a few years... In fact, some women don't regain their sex drive until years after their first gave birth. Often, even when your sexual appetite returns, your bedtime frolics no longer have the same flavor...

And in the meantime...in the meantime you are fully inflated, ready to explode because your sexual impulses are still there and are manifesting themselves more strongly and more frequently. Faced with her, you don't know how to react anymore, you don't dare to tell her about your desires for fear of being rejected again, out of bad conscience or simply because you too are beginning to no longer want to have sex with her...

The situation becomes complicated but your couple is close to your heart because deep down you love her. She is the woman of your life, the mother of your child and in the end everything is fine, except your sex life. So in order to maintain the harmony of your relationship, not to put pressure on anyone (neither on her whom you love so much, nor on you), the choice to satisfy your needs "elsewhere" is often the only option to maintain your couple united and stable.

 

What options do you have?

According to me, there are three options: having a mistress, looking for one-night stands on Tinder for example or going to see Escorts. Let's take a brief look at these different options:

* Having a mistress (or a sugar baby) is dangerous because spending a lot of time with the same person will inevitably create very strong bonds between both of you that will endanger your relationship with your wife and your family life. If your mistress deeply falls in love with you, you do not want her to show up at your house or start threatening to tell your wife everything. You don't need these kind of bull-shit.

 

* The one-night stand on Tinder may be a solution... but you're not sure you'll win each time. And no, not all men manage to have sex with a girl on the first night...not even on the second night...sometimes it can take severals dates and a lot of money spent in the meantime to hope for some intimacy at some point with that girl you are so attracted to. If you don't look like „Brad Pitt“ or „Tom Cruise“, take your pain patiently…

 

* Meeting Escorts. I think you'll find here the best option. Why is that? There's no commitment. Things are discreet, clear and anonymous from the start. Of course, it will cost you money but at least you are sure to get the privacy and intimacy you paid for. The Escort is there to make you spend a good time. She won't judge you, won't ask you any indiscreet questions and because she is a professional, she takes care of herself and of her hygiene (which is not necessarily the case for the girl you meet on Tinder or in a Disco who is ready to sleep with you without protection on the first night...). Her goal is to make you feel good, forget about your problems. She is not seeking for a boyfriend/lover, she is respectful of your privacy, of your time and of your money.

Seeing several of them allows you to have fun (no date is never the same) without taking the risk of "falling in love" with one of them because that's not the goal here, right? It is about fun, about releasing your basic needs in a no string-attached encounter.

If you take the time to search for the right Escort Girls, your money will be a good investment, trust me ! An investment for you. For your health, for your well-being and indirectly, for the well-being of your family (because if you are fine, they will be fine too). Visiting different Escorts will help you go through this difficult moment with your wife, without taking any risk and without hurting anybody (as you will of course – You are not that stupid, right? - do it in a very discreet and smart way so your wife will never hear from this).

 

Conlusion...

As you don’t know how long you will have to wait until your wife hormones levels return to „normal“ while she is pregnant or after giving birth, you can choose between pleasing yourself in the bathroom each time she is not around (because of course you don’t want her to know that and look down on you) or finding an alternative to calm your normal sexual needs. A mix of both is fine too.

But keep in mind that as a man, you will go through this phase at a certain point of your relationship (unless you're lucky and your partner is extremely sexual during her pregnancy. Yes, some pregnant women may experience an increase in sexual desire during this period, but this is rare) and you are not an exception. Many other men are facing this same problem but they just don’t talk about it. Don’t feel bad/ashamed about this. Love and sex are two different words which have two different meanings and two different „feelings“. They are not uncompatible but they can easily exist without each other. And remember this : „Women give sex for love, men give love for sex“. That’s only the true. You are not an isolated case.

 

Janet for TheVelvetRooms

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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